Each night we'll pick two new rock songs head to head. Vote for the one you want to hear
"The Charade"
serj tankian
vs.
Wednesday...Ask-a-Trooper with Capt. Langer and Lingerie Expert Jennifer Carroll
SCHOOL CLOSINGS AND DELAYS
These principals are hereby admitted to The Brotherhood for life. Enjoy your day off kids...just hope your parents still have to go to work, so you can have a party.
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Marissa Miller Loses Her Pants
In a celebrity flag football game on South Beach during Super Bowl week, Tom Arnold thought it would be a terrific accident if a Victoria's Secret model lost her pants. The smartest thing Tom Arnold has ever done.
Women Love to Take Revenge on Cars
Guys, if you ahve a nice car, or just love your crappy one, don't piss off your girls. This could happen to you!
Tiger Woods Google Ad
If you were one of the 100 bagillion poeple who watched the Super Bowl this year then you surely saw the ad for Google where different search terms are typed in throughout someone's life. Well here's what Tiger would have been typing over, say, the last 3 months.
Brett Favre Super Bowl Ad
With the big game only a few days away, it's time to spoil the best part of the broadcast by showing you commercials now! This one is sure to be a favorite. If he's still playing in 10 years and winning the MVP?....Sign me up. Please come back Brett!
Disney Groper
A random guy groped 31-year-old Christina Esquivel during the dark drop on the Tower of Terror at California Adventures. Usually when you do something like this, it's to someone you know. Police are still looking for the guy.
Dad Drunk With Daughter Mugshot
This dad was arrested in a church parking lot drinking heavily with hier 15-year-old daughter. He blew a MASSIVE .40 and she blew a .10. Dad of the year!
Hooters Girls IN-STUDIO!
Three of the lovely ladies of Hooters stopped in-studio and dropped off some Hooters calendars, Hooters Magazines, and t-shirts. They also tried to get you donkey to come and see them and eat some wings on Super Sunday, where all sales during the 4th quarter will be donated to Haiti Relief. Also for every fan on Facebook Hooters will donate $1 to the Red Cross.
Life Lessons With Mr. T
Truer words have never been spoken. If you ever think you don't know what to do in certain life situations, just ask the T.
Bryant McKinnie, Minnesota Handyman and All-Around Good Guy
Bryant McKinney has had a rough week. He skips three practices and a NFC team meeting, all because he was partying too hard. Now, he's out to repair his image. By doing what ever you need him to. As long as he's not too effed up.
A Gorilla Relaxing
Just for the hell of it, here's a picture of a baby gorilla just realxing like a human. And no, I don't mean with a beer and a hooker.
Mike Tyson on Dancing with the Stars in Italy
A few weeks ago Mike Tyson hosted WWE Monday Night RAW right here in Minneapolis, but his high point of this year so far has got to be getting down with some hot Italian dancers. It would have been mine.
Fox News is Dirty
There has been a little streak of this kind of thing you know with this new one here...and this...and don't forget this. It's nice to see a chick involved.
Favre's Bruises
Ok...so Brett is NOT indestructible. Those hits he took in the NFC Title Game defeinitely took their toll as shown in these never released photos of his leg and ankle after his pads were taken off.
Banker Surfing Miranda Kerr
This bank advisor was caught live on TV looking at nude photos of supermodel Miranda Kerr. Seems like a good use of work time to me.
Tuesday Top Ten
Celebrity or Fictional Character You Would Like To Have As a Dad
For most of us, our old men are all right, but they could ALWAYS be a little bit better. And growing up we all watched TV or a movie and thought, "I wish he was my dad." Now is your chance to tell us who that was, or is now. Here are your top ten people you would rather have as your dad. Feel free to add your own in the comments at the bottom.
Insane Soccer Goal With Awesome Call
Sometimes, I think that these soccer play-by-play guys get a little too much into the game. After all, this IS soccer. But, that being said, that was a pretty sweet goal.
Shamrock Princesses
The lovely gingers of the Shamrock Princesses stopped in-studio to get you drunks to join them at their bar outings over the next month before the new Miss Shamrock is crowned just in time for St. Patty's Day.
Bad Sex Rape Allegation-ers
18-year-old Jessica Alexander and 29-year-old Tammy Ortega agreed to have sex with a guy in exchange for cigarettes, then accused him of rape because they "didn't enjoy the sex."
Obama (Better) State of Union
If you watched Obama's State of the Union Address last night you may have noticed a few irregularites. You think you missed them? We got them all into one place. Begin your political debate with your friends that will surely end your friendship.
RIGHT CLICK TO SAVE
Jericho Mugshot
WWE Superstar Chris Jericho and fellow wrestler Greg "Hurricane" Helms were locked up for being TANKED at a gas station a few days ago. Does that make them both REAL Jericholics? I'd say so.
Funny Mug Shots
When someone goes to toe clink they get one chance, and one chance only to make a good impression. Well these two failed miserably. Now when some one thinks of these crimes in the future, these photos are what comes to mind.
Golfing Game: Tiger's Transgressions
A fun golfing game where you use your tools, aka, your balls, to hit your ex-girlfriends before they get to the news van and make millions in Maxim.
10-Year-Old Russian Hockey Brawl
Players of the two Russian youth ice hockey teams - Penguins and the Northern Star - are trying to keep pace with professionals in all aspects. 9-year-old stars have proved - ice hockey is one of the toughest games to play no matter what age you are. A friendly game between Russia's young Penguins and Stars turned into all-in massive fight on ice.
California Lexus Crash
Toyota is halting all Toyota and Lexus production and issuing thousands of recalls on more than 7 models of vehicles after this crash left four dead and one unconscious for 2 days. The gas pedal got stuck on the floor mat. If you think you may be affected (2005-2010 models) go see your local Toyota dealer to get checked.
Contestant Faints on Price is Right
This Showcase contestant got a little too excited about her perspective prizes...that she hadn't even won yet. But to her credit, it WAS a trip to the Mall of America.
Angry Viking Fans
Some fans took that Favre interception WAY too seriously. Although it will go down in history right up there with fumble on the goal line agains the Dolphins and missed field goal by Gary Anderson, TONE IT DOWN!
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Tuesday Top Ten
Things You Will Do With Your Vikings Super Bowl Money
Well it's all over, the Purple fell again sue mostly to their old hand. And me, just like many other Viking fans has a wad of money reserved for either a trip to Miami, a bet on the Vikes in Miami, or a MASSIVE Super Bowl Party. What are you going to do with that cash now? Here are your top ten alternate uses for your Super Bowl money. Add your own in the comments.
Peanut Butter Kid
This kid covered himself with creamy peanut butter, and when Georgia upset Tennessee, he rushed the court, but not one security guard would touch him. Except the one covered in jelly.
Half-Court Shot Prank Backfires
This guy was supposed to be duped into thinking he made a blind-folded half-court shot to win NCAA Final Four tickets in an obvious attempt to 'borrow' the prank from CollegeHumor.com. Oops. Next time pick a much worse basketball player.
ISOC SnoCrossers
Some of our favorite SnoCross riders stopped in including Levi LaVallee, the very cute Carly Davis, and the too old for the s#@% Paul Thacker. Go see them endanger their lives this weekend at Canterbury Park and on ESPN during the Winter X-Games next weekend.
Chris Warcraft Guild
(Facebook Group)
Kluwe joined us this morning talk dorkness. And I thought I'd plug my Facebook group. Please Join. It's for no good cause other than to spread the word of the Warcraft. Thank you. FACEBOOK MEMBERSHIP IS REQUIRED
Baby Cigarette Facebook Photo
18-year-old Rebecca Davey posted a picture on Facebook of her six-month-old baby, Ollie, with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. I don't see the big deal. There are thousands of much worse photos on Facebook, and Rebecca didn't even see a minute of jail-time or even a fine.
Fake Reporter Grabs David Beckham's Crotch
You can't understand a single word in this video unless you speak Italian. What I love best is that they subtitle it IN ITALIAN.
Very Excited Basketball Fan
This kid is so excited to be interviewed for local TV that he just can't keep on topic.
Shania Twain, 44 and Still HOT
Cougars are naturally a northern animal. They thrive in climates like that in Canada. But it's not a strange thing to see the younger ones peruse the cougar. Even when she's 44 and looks like this. So what if she sings country. I can overlook that.
Conan O'Brien Signs
Well tonight marks the end of "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien." I think it's safe to say that the HAMS has been on Team Conan this whole time. Last week fans of the red-headed funnyman held a rally for him. Here are the creme-de-la-creme of their signs. Good-bye Conan, see you on FOX in September.
Tiger in Sex Rehab?
These photos were snapped by the National Enquirer (obviously) and show someone who may, or may not be Tiger in a sex rehab clinic in Mississippi. The clinic is in the process of installing higher walls to gain more privacy. I wonder why...
2:00 - Medication Time
3:00 - Masturbation Time
Damien Wilkins Posterizes Nenad Krstic
Well, he IS the nephew of Dominiques Wilkins, so he has at LEAST 20% of those skills, and he uses every one of them in this AWESOME play Tuesday night. But I dunno, I still think THIS was the dunk of the year so far this season.
Dirty Weatherman
This weatherman was not thinking when he compared the snowfall to..."something." I hope it rains next so I can wash the dirtiness off of me. Must clean....MUST CLEAN!
Venus Williams Commando?
Was she wearing nothing under this little thing as she kicked ass at the Aussie Open? You decide. Let us know what YOU see in the comments.
Worst Traffic in the Country
Here is a list of the 75 worst bottlenecks in the country. Take special note of #17. It's a DOOZY.
Top Ten Most Desirable Women From AskMen.com
AskMen.com put together the 99 most desirable women in the world. Don't be surprised if you don't know many of them, you just wish you did.
Tuesday Top Ten
If the Vikes go the Super Bowl I will (Blank.)
We're so close we can almost taste it. For many of us this is our fourth experience with the Vikes being one step from the big game, and for more of us this would be our first time seeing them make it (knock on wood.) What will you do if our boys take down the Saints next week? You let us know, so here are your answers. Feel free to add your own at the end in the comments.
Mayne Event: Favre's Secret Weapon
(Hint: It's Wranglers)
ESPN's Kenny Mayne looked into the secret to the Vikings success. And I can tell you one thing, it's real. Comfortable. Jeans. Just watch out for Jared Allen's pasty legs...
BMW Billboard
This billboard in Connecticut caused some very confused drivers to call 911 after not realizing that that man is in no danger of being mauled by that bear. The bear would quickly lose his balance and fall....that and they are both fake.
Tonight Show For Sale
If Conan loses the tonight show, at least he'll get a few bucks out of it first...or at least a pair of Coldplay tickets.
Sheeple!!
This lamb, born in Turkey, may very well be the product of a very lonely shepherd. Vets say that the facial mutation is a result of too much Vitamin A in the mothers food. But if you ask me...It looks a little too much like Weasel for this to be a coincidence...
Craig Lynch Hates the Cops
Escaped British prisoner Craig "Lazie" Lynch is taunting police and attracting a growing Internet fan base from his Facebook profile where he is mocking authorities for failing to find him and openly joking about moving across the Atlantic.
Chaska House Frozen Shut
A Chaska family, who was on vacation in Brazil for the past month, came home to find that their house had turned into an igloo. A water pipe had burst in the upper floors and covered the house in ice.
Massachusetts Candidate Misspells Own State
Massachusetts Senatorial candidate Martha Coakley might have an whole new issue when it comes to her candidacy this fall. No, not health care, or the stimulus. It's the fact that you can't name your own state correctly.
Maxim.com's Spread of The HOT T-Wolves Dance Team
Those people over at Maxim.com know thier stuff, and have picked the best reason to go to a Wolves game as one of thier hottest NBA Dance Teams in the league. Good people, those Maxim-izers.
Compare them with other NBA dancers on Maxim.com.
KARE 11 is DIRTY...
Having used to intern at KARE-11, I know just how dirty they can be. This is about right...
Tuesday Top Ten
Top Ten Hollywood Hotties That Are Probably HUGE Bitches In Real Life
You tell us what to rank? We listen. One of your listener generated lists has surfaced and targets our favorite sexy celebrities. Which ones are TOTALLY hot, but absolute bitches. We got dozens of suggestions in the first few minutes, which shows how little you, our listeners, think of the awesome Hollywood tail. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Driving 80 Through the Sun-Roof
An Arizona man is facing charges after traffic cameras captured images of him standing up in his car while speeding. Richard Anthony was standing through his car's open sunroof while driving nearly 80.
Ultimate X-Girls in Studio
Whitney and a few of the other Ultimate X-Girl finalists joined the boys in studio to talk about the new Ultimate X-Girl Calendar.Go check them out at a few locales around the metro and get your calendar while supplies last.Or you could just take these photos and make your own calendar.
Shar Pei Facelift
This poor little pup had his eyelashes digging into his eyes, so he was given a doggie facelift.
Aliens Will Eat the Fatties First!
If you go to the gym at the Cadbury House in Britol, UK...you might be surrounded by crazy people. That's because they used the fear of aliens to get more members. Because, like lobsters in a tank, they will take the fat ones first.
Tuesday Top Ten
Predictions for 2010
Well another new year is here, and with it 365 days of new things that are going to happen. Will the Vikes win it all? Will a small troll escape from the fat rolls on Rosie O'Donnel's back? Who knows? Here are your top ten predictions for the new year. Feel free to add your own at the end.
Hurdler Implants Removed
Australian hurdler Jana Rawlinson wanted to succeed at the Olympics, but there was one thing in her way...well, two things. Back in April she had implants to make her chest less boy-like, but when she ran they bounced too much and hurt, so she had them removed a few months later. All in all, the two procedures cost her $14,000.
Weird Looking Mayor
The one thing this guy likes about being mayor more than any other thing? He can show his powerpoints where ever he goes...you know, on his massive forehead.
Royce White Video
After a slew of theft accusations, Royce White has made a video declaring that he is done playing college basketball. Check out the video and the story. He seems a little out there.
Referee Saves Player's Life
They say the best job a referee can do, is not be noticed for the entire game. Well in this case, that just ain't true. Just after the 8:00 mark of a Swedish hockey game Örebros Niklas Lihagen collapsed after being checked into the board. He lay unconscious for 4 minutes going through cardiac arrest while referee Wolmer Edqvist performed CPR and saved his life. There's no make-up call for that.
40 Hottest Athletes of the Decade
Remember what I said about the Top 10 Biggest Sports D'ohs of the Decade? Well here is yet another "Best of the Decade" list. This one is even more enticing than the last one. And THIS will make Jerry Sloan stare even more.
Vote 4 Randy's Cookie!
The people at KARE 11 had a little cookie-off. Right now Julie Nelson's cookie is kicking major ass by over 900 votes, but we can close the gap. As of 12/15 at 7:00am he was running 3rd. Pick it up people! He even made a Brett Favre cookie!
Epic Dragster Crash
This photographer Andy Willsheer came very close to snapping his last photo, when he kept shooting while a dragster almost crashed directly into him. He has a pair of steel ones, this guy.
Sheppard Shatters the Glass
It is not very often that James Sheppard does something worth highlighting, let alone show on SportsCenter, but this was pretty sweet.
Mascot Dunk Fail
Have you ever gone to a basketball game and watched the mascot do some insanely crazy dunk? Did you ever hope that he would fall on his ass? Consider that wish fulfilled.
Corey Brewer Posterizes Derek Fisher
It's not too often these days the Wolves do something worth showing anywhere other than in a dark room where your friends and family can't see you watching it, but this was even worthy of PTI on Monday. Corey Brewer dunks over a midget...OK, not a midget, but Derek Fisher is close.
10 Biggest D'Ohs of the Decade
You're used to a top ten on Tuesday, but how about TWO! With the decade coming to a close you are going to get bombarded with top ten of the past ten years. Well let us give (hopefully) your first. The Top Ten D'oh! Sports Moments of the Past 10 Years. Jerry Sloan will continue to just shake his head in disbelief.
Baby With a Wig
This mother was soooo embarrassed that her baby girl was bald, that she got her a wig to wear all of the time. Worst. Mother. Ever...(Not really, but bad.)
The Pre-Newlywed Game
CONGRATULATIONS TO DUSTY AND JACKIE! They won a $5000 shopping spree to Arthur's Jewelers by proving they knew more about each other than our other two couples. Practice makes perfect.
TV Remote Up the Butt
In a terribly strange prank, Huang Chen's stupid friends thought it would be funny to shove a TV remote up his butt.
Car Catches Fire at Gas Pump
Curtis Donovan was getting in and out of his car while he was pumping gas when he car burst into flames.
Redskins Choke TV Shooting
This guy was SO sure that the 'Skins were going to beat the Saints after the first few quarters, he posted on his Facebook that if they Saints came back to win, he would let his Facebook friends come to his house and shoot his TV. Well, a missed FG and an overtime later, the Saints came back, and this guy lost a TV...Bang.
Tiger Woods Wife Outrun (GAME)
It was only a matter of time before some genius made this. Waste your day with this game.
Wrecked Lamborghini Police Car
Imagine, you're a cop in Italy, and your department is given 2 Lamborghinis worth $250.000. While driving down the road a car pulled out in front of him. He swerved and ran into a row of parked cars totalling the Lambo...How do you say "Fired" in Italian?
New Tiger Girl
Another woman has stepped forward claiming to have had an affair with Tiger Woods...and she has a voicemail to prove it.
Tuesday Top Ten
Epic Ways to Quit Your Job
You ever have a job that you just HATED. One that you couldn't wait to quit. Well if you have one of those now and are looking for an epic way to exit check out this weeks Tuesday Top Ten; the top ten epic ways to quit your job.
(These are for comedic purposes only. 93X takes no responsibility if your stupid self gets arrested and/or injured performing one of these idea on your own.)
Million Dollar Basketball Shot Pranks
On Thanksgiving last week, a 'lucky' Lakers fan was picked to throw up a 1 million dollar, blind-folded, half court shot at a Jazz/Lakers game. Unfortunately this was all a prank. He missed wildly, and when the crowd went crazy, so does he. Too bad the Jazz stole this idea from Collegehumor.com.
Keith Ballard Lights Up His Own Goalie
Batter up! Wrong sport Mr. Ballard. That's not a bat, that's your stick, and that's not a ball on a tee, it your own goalie, Tomas Vokoun's head on his own neck. Vokoun was carted off the ice nearly 10 minutes later with a head contusion and a concussion. Worst. Teammate. Ever.
Kurt Rambis Glasses Night
Head to the Wolves game on Friday night and the first 5,000 fans will get a pair of these slick cool glasses that were really cool back in the 80's and are making a strong comeback. Then you can join in on Josh and Nicks glasses wearing marathon. They will wear these things until the T-Pups win a game. Unfortunately, that might not be til 2010.
Tuesday Top Ten
Things You Want To Ask Randy Shaver
You all love him, embarrass him at sporting events by calling him "Assman," (which we are no longer able to use without the expressed written consent of the WWE, which they have not given us.) Randy Shaver knows the most about sports despite what other hosts of this show might think. Now, it's YOUR turn. What do YOU want to ask him? Leave your own in the comments.
Old School Models...Naked
Later on in life these ladies still got it goin on. Of the 8 photos I had, these are the only 3 I could post. You can only imagine. I don't have to.
Don't Worry It's Friday
If you are feeling bad after a long week, don't worry, it's friday!
RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE TO DESKTOP
Duck Squash
Gardener Lionel Partridge counldnb't believe what he found when he was harvesting his squash. this one was in the perfect shape of a duck..."That's Quacktastic!"
Those Dirty, Dirty Twins
This Kodak Moment has been brought to you by the New York Yankees. Screw 'Em. NO...NOT LIKE THAT!
PWN of the Day
This is the nerd video of the day. To be fair, this guy have been playing the game for an entire week.
The Trooper on a Harp
This is the kind of thing that would make me like classical music more. But what you don't know, is that he actually playing Harp Hero.
Tuesday Top Ten
Top Ten Future Top Ten Topics
Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Ever since we started this whole Tuesday Top Ten thingy it was inevitable. We have run out of ideas for the Tuesday Top Ten. So in situations like these, we turn to the smartest, wittiest people we know. you the listeners. Here are YOUR top ten ideas for future Tuesday Top Tens. Feel free to add your own in the comments. We could really use the ideas.
The LSD Induced No Hitter
June 20th, 1970. That is the day that the greatest game ever was pitched. Pittsburgh Pirates Pitcher Doc Ellis threw a no-hitter. What makes it the greatest game ever pitched? Because Doc had dropped LSD hours before the game, since he didn't think he would have to pitch. At one point he thought the ball was talking to him, telling him what pitched to throw, and he even scored a touchdown...well, that's what his brain told him
New Twins Uniforms
With a new home come lots of other new stuff, including new uniforms. While they look very cool and retro, I hope some of the other 'news' include players and contracts. See you outside in April!
Bobcat Goldthwait
The damn near legendary comedian stopped by in studio and did not talk about his ex-wife Nikki Cox or ANY Police Academy Movie. He's on to more adult things now, like directing movies that involve beatiality and Robin Williams.
Kevin Hart
The very funny comedian stopped in before his show this weekend at the Pantages. If you don't know him, but recognize him...think Scary Movie 3. He loves the women here and probabaly will score a little tail this weekend. Feelin lucky? Go see him Saturday night.
Charla Nash's Face (GROSS WARNING)
Back in February Charla Nash was attacked by a friend's Chimpanzee. She lost her eyes and basically, the rest of her face. Most of the time, she wears a veil in public so she doesn't scare people. I put her photo down a little lower than usual. If you are not prepared, the image IS disturbing. View at your own risk, and don't send us your bill for cleaning the puke off of your keyboard.
Tuesday Top Ten
Things You Want To Do On Your Next Day Off
It's that time of the year when everyone is using up the rest of their vacation days. But when you need to take off a day for no reason, you need to find something good to do to really make it worth it. Here are the top ten thing you the listeners want to do with your next day off of hell...I mean work.
World's Smallest Mother
35-year-old Stacey Herald is the world's smallest mother at 2-feet, 4-inches tall . . . and is pregnant for the third time. And no i wouldn't...not that desperate.
New Wild Theme
With the Wild kinda suckin' this season, that old anthem that the team plays every game doesn't really make sense anymore. So, we have taken it upon ourselves to rewrite it. You're welcome America.
RIGHT CLICK TO DOWNLOAD!
Dirtest Soccer Player EVER!
This girl on the New Mexico women's Soccer team is a dirty girl, and not in the awesome way. She has been suspended indefinitely for these two plays that were caught on tape in a semi-final match against Brigham Young. And in case you are wondering, yes...yes I would.
Ultimate X-Girl Whitney In-Studio Pix!
Whitney stops by to chat with the H.A.M.S. following her victory at the Ultimate X-Girl Finale!
Congratulations Yankees...Really...
Well the World Series is over, and the Yankees bought...I mean won it in convincing fashion. So from every fan who absolutely despises the Bronx Bombers (aka everyone not from New York or in the national media) we congratulate you....
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Childress Talks About Favre's Groin
Brad Childress was asked after the big Vikings/Packers game about the condition of God...I mean Favre. I still think he was joking around...but Childress telling a joke is like Steven Wright doing the same. Sometimes you're just not sure if he's serious or not. Rub it...it will help.
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Tim Floyd Breaks Up Casino Fight
Former USC basketball coach made his way to the Morongo casino and went out of his way to break up an awesome chick fight. Even other former USC coach and current Memphis Grizzlies Henry Bibby gets in the act by saving Floyd's ass when one chick decides to try to go WWE on his ass with a chair. Why would Timmy get so involved? Three words...'"accidental" boob grab.'
Knock Knock Joke
The comedy duo of Pete and Brian bring us one of our most requested bits. Knock Knock...Who's there....Clinical Depression...
RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE TO DESKTOP
Tuesday Top Ten
Most Annoying Male Bonding Habits
Guys are a strage species. We can never just say hi and hang out quietly. We all have to do SOMETHING wierd or different. There are some really dumb things that guys to when they get together. Like a pack of dogs out running around in packs, one guy can ruin the entire group. Here are our top ten things that guys know that annoy this piss out of us. Feel free to add your own at the end.
Bob Mason Throws Down
Back in the day Wild Bench Coach Bob Mason could throw down. In fact he did back in 1991. Sorry to say that Bob went down, and was NOT even penalized. Corson was given a game misconduct and thrown out of the game...So who really won?
Hockey Fight Database
My new favorite WebSite. You want to see if Dino fought any Blackhawks in 1990? Find out and maybe even see the video. Boogy should be in this thing's Hall of Fame.
Rejected World Series Memories
You know how during the Fall Classic, they reminisce with fans and players about their favorite World Series memories. Some just didn't make the cut, no matter how memorable they are, despite what your subconscious wants to do with it.
The Fixer-Upper Wife
When plastic surgeon Reza Vossough saw the woman of his dreams he was not attracted to her at all. But what he DID see was potential. A little eyebrow lift here, a boob job there, a forehead reduction here, and she would be all she wanted. The work cost him $30,000 in all.
Guy Jumps Fence, Hits Bus
I don't know what this guy was thinking other than "OOOOOOHHHHHH SHH.....OWW!!!" Actually I know that's what was going through his head.
Minnapolis Man TASED!
Monday night, Rolando Ruiz had a bad night. He was for apparently no reason, tased in the neck. It caused him to sue the police department as well as scream like a girl.
Manu Ginobili 1, Bat 0
What a spooky night for such a wierd incident. At the Spurs/Kings game on Saturday night, a bat got into the AT&T Center. After it caused the refs to stop the game a couple of times, Manu Ginobili took matters into his own hand...literally. SMACK!!
HS Football Player Tackles Teammate
No one ever said these guys were the smartest guys in school, but I hope enough that they know the rules. This kick-off coverage guys has to do a little mor research before he plays again. REMEMEBER, if they guy you are about to tackle is wearing the same uniuform as you...LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Ultimate X-Girl Finalists (Group 1)
As we reach the final 15, we get to enjoy these beautful ladies up close and personal and in-studio for 3 straight days. Today's show featured Kristina, Emily P, Whitney, Amanda, and Candy. More to come tomorrow. God I love my job.
Ultimate X-Girl Finalists (Group 2)
The second round of our X-girl finalists stopped into the studio to bait us all into believing that one of them would date us. They also made thier pitch why they should be picked as the Ultimate X-Girl of 2009. Last group goes tomorrow before the final groupe stops in tomorrow. Go to the 93X.com home page, or Cravings to go.com to vote for your favorite.
Ultimate X-Girl Finalists (Group 3)
As the month of Gawk-tober draws to a close we focus on out last five finalists for the Ultimate X-Girl Competition. Pick your favorite(s) and see who wins at the Papa Roach/Jet show next week at the Wilkins.
Fuel Truck Explodes
This fuel truck tipped over and did NOT explode. But in the process of flipping it back up again, something went wrong. Ka-Boom.
Bat Prankster
Some people have issues with small creepy crawly things. My roomate for instance HATES bunny rabbits. I'm willing to bet a few of these people freaked out a little too much based on what they were actually facing here.
Alien on a Beach?
This was found on a beach in New Zealand. No one really knew what it was, so the first logical conclusion? Alien. Not what it most likely is, a decomposed Sperm Whale with va visable rib cage and balls.
Child GPS Tracker
WHy would you get this? If I lost my kid, I'd think I'd hit the damn jackpot. But you are attached to those little rugrats, pick one of these up.
Mormon Muffins Calendar
Who says mormon chicks are uptight and rigid. Not the geniuses who came up with this calendar. Pick it up here.
Garage Built Pan-Am Flight Cabin
Anthony Toth needs a life. He spent a little over $50,000 building a perfect replica of a Pan-Am First Class Cabin. He even went as far as to fly to Thailand for a pair of Pan-Am headphones. Just be happy he's not in Scotland...(too soon?)
Shark Bitten in Half
This 10-ft shark was caught off the coast of Brisbane, Australia. Unfortunately, the fishermen who caught it got SCREWED out of a lot of shark meat by a BIGGER shark that almost bit the smaller one in half.
Sex for World Series Tickets
This lady is a DIE HARD Phillies fan. So die hard she was willing to trade anything for it. Although she does't say sex in the ad, you know what she meant.
Car On Top of Sleeping Couple
Last Wednesday morning at around 4:00am, Eric Cross decided to drive his car into the bedroom of his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend in Sparks, Nevada. Only thing was, it WASN'T her house, it was the home of some other girl named Kristin Palmer. Cross's car launched through the wall and laned on top of Palmer and her boyfriend as they slept. Pinned for almost an hour, they ended up with almost no injuries.
Tuesday Top Ten
Scariest Movie Characters
Halloween is just around the corner and with it the slew of scary movies that everyone insists they watch. Its not the movies we are worried about, it's the scariest movie characters of all time. Here is our Top Ten. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Mark Sanchez Eats a Hot Dog
Mark Sanchez is a rookie, and this is a rookie mistake. If you are going to try to covertly eat a dog on the sideline during an televised NFL game...a couple of pointers. First, don't be the biggest rookie sensation of the year. Second. Hide behind an offensive lineman, they can block the sun, they can block you. I just hope it was free.
Brad Pitt Motorcycle Accident
Every so often, the paparazzi catches something on camera that changes our society. This is one of those times. And before you get all pissy that he deserved it because he's driving between the two lanes of cars, that is completely legal in California. It's called lane splitting.
Find Morgan
About a week and a half ago Viginia Tech student and metal-head Morgan Harrington disappeared after a Metallica Concert. After the concert she told her friends over a cell phone that she would find her own way home. She never made it. Now Metallica is joining the search by offering an extra $50,000 on top of the already $100,000 rewards for finding the people who did this. See what you can do at http://findmorgan.com/
NFL's Best Hair
As if they don't get enough attention, he's a list of the best hairdos in the League.
12 Worst Parking Jobs Ever Caught on Tape
Parking should never be this difficult. Unfortunately, these people never quite got a grip on the concept.
Drunk Guy Video of the YEAR!
We all love to watch a bumbling idiot try to walk when he's all hammered up on booze. We all love to watch them stumble, fall down, and slur tier speech. If only this video had sound then we would get it all. This may be the best drunk video...EVER! Sit back, crack a cold one, and enjoy.
Soccer Head Kick
We don't usually like to post anything soccer related but this is just plain ol' funny. Ouch.
A-Rod Feels Up Derek Jeter
Some people...(cough...Randy Shaver)...call the 2009 New York Yankees the "team of destiny." Now I know why, this team is close.
Arrest Video
A few weeks ago YTL told us about this arrest video they had where the guy they were haulin away got a little bored in the car Well here it is.
Pigeon Power!!
When the Raiders took on the Eagles on Sunday, if you had your money on the Raiders you KNEW you would need some higher power to get the win. Well the Black Hole got that help in the form of a rat with wings on this kick-off.
Badgers QB Can't Buy a High Five
You know it's a bad day at the stadium, when the starting QB can't even get a little skin. But don't worry, Wisconsin QB Scott Tolzien got plenty of skin the next night with the twins from his Biology class.
Eff You 'Til Monday
Don't you hate Mondays? What about that lady who sits across from you, and all you hear all day long is "Corporate accounts payable Nina speaking, just a moment" over, and over, and over. Don't you just want to tell them over, and over. eff you til Monday!
Random Falcon Heene Stuff
So the biggest drama of the year since the deaths of Billy Mays and Michael Jackson apparently took place yesterday as a 6-year-old boy apparently took an 80-mile flight in a home made Mylar balloon, only so be presumed injured or dead after the balloon was found empty hours later, and finally found safe in his attic hiding. Leave it to the Internet to get on this one QUICK!
Stroller Hit By Train
A six-month old boy was incredibly left un harmed, except for a bump on the head after his stroller rolled off of a subway platform and in front of a train as it pulled into a Melbourne area station. The train hit him going around 30mph. The video is not for the faint of heart or for the parents of ANYONE.
St. Petersburg City Council Fight
Who knew a sidewalk could have caused so much trouble. Immediately after a controversial vote in St. Petersberg Florida about privatizinfg a section of boardwalk along the beach. And this wasn't your kids City Council brawl, this was between 76-year-old Frederick Dudley and 61-year-old Ronald Deaton, showing us that old people can still bring it.
Woman Loses 211lbs, Gets First Kiss at Age 40
Kimberly Evans was a chubby gal. And when she was 39, she decided it was time for a change. She lost 211lbs, and finally got her first kiss. If she would have just met Nick 20 years ago, all of this could have been averted.
Miss Homeless Belgium Pageant
Recently, officials in Belgium were searhing for a way to draw attention to the country's homelessness problem. So they decided to have a beauty pageant. The winner was given a rent free apartment for a year.
Amazing 9-Year-Old Shootout Goal
With the Wild 1-4, you have you be thinking this one thing...SIGN HIM UP WE NEED GOALS!!! Seriously though, he's nine years old.
Tuesday Top Ten on a Wednesday
BEST MOVIE QUOTES
There are thousands of them and this list could be debated for YEARS. But here are the ten we compiled for today's list. Add your own at the end.
Mustang Football...GET SOME!
In Moundsview they love thier football, but hate shirts. Pleeeeease explain why the entire team would agree to this.
Owen Schmitt is FIRED UP!
Seattle Seahawks fullback thought long and hard about how to get his team amped up before a big game against the Jaguars last Sunday. Afterwards, he had to think long and hard on how to get blood out of his jersey.
Firefighters Catch on Fire
These firefighters are demonstrating how fast a bedroom can catch on fire form a lit cigarette. Did I say bedroom? I meant their faces. I think it might be a bad sign, when your equiptment is so fireproof, you don't even realize YOU are on fire.
Aliens Invading Moscow?
Call Will Smith! Call Jeff Goldblum! (and to a lesser extent...Call Harry Conick Jr. We're being invaded! But not to worry, they are starting in Russia. Maybe they'll think our whole country looks like that and just leave.
St. Louis Invasion
We're being invaded...AGAIN! This time the target is St. Louis, Missori. Now I guess it's time to call Richard Dreyfuss...
Twins Cities Not a Spring Break Destination...DUH!
I can't believe this is news. I'm just surprised we came in above Chernobyl.
City Face-Off
IN THIS CORNER! WEIGHING IN AT A POPULATION OF 361,420...THE KILLER OF KANSAS! WICHITA! AND IN THIS CORNER! WEIGHING IN AT A POPULATION OF 183,606! THE GERIATRIC JUGGERNAUT! FT. LAUDERDALE! Let's get it on!
Family Guy Corn Maze
Who can say they got lost in Family guy, Well, anyone who goes to Connors Farm in Danvers, Massechusetts can. Bob Connors, carved Stewie and Brian into his annual corn maze.
Crazy Georgia Fan
This guy is WAY too into Georgia Bulldog football and apparently 1980's Hulk Hogan videos.
Tuesd...Umm, Wednesday Top Ten
Greatest TV Dads
They say every child needs a good father figure. Sometimes that figure has to be a made-up TV dad, they always know what's right, they always get the bully who conned you out of money, or kill the teacher that gave you a D. Here are the ten greatest TV dads of all-time.
Jonathon Bryce and the Suicide Chair
We all knew that if Jonathon Bryce was going to kill himself, it was going to be on our show. He came dangerously close today with his contraption that not even Jigsaw could invent. He got out, he's safe, but the video is intense.
JONATHON BRYCE BURIED ALIVE!
On October 24, the Escape Artist and HAMS regualar almost killed himself today but failed. In a couple weeks he will succeed. Its all for chharity, so go out watch him get buried under 3 tons of corn.
SETH GREEN FREAK OUT
Just outside the set for a commercial, Seth Green got mugged. Then he goes BALLISTIC on the studio security for not protecting his munchkin ass.
HOT CHICK VIOLIN COVER OF TOXICITY
How can System of a Down get any better? Make them all hot chicks that can REALLY rock out.
AARON RODGERS SEEMS ALRIGHT
I know we bleed purple and gold here, but every so often a Packer fan does something clever and funny, like this song by The Replicates. And they did get two thing right. The packers will finish 6-10 and their coaches suck.
TOP 15 ANTI-FAVRE SHIRTS
Packer fans are bitter...very, very bitter. I am a firm believer that this whole thing will blow over with time. Like Montana in Kansas City, Cris Carter in Miami, or Emmitt Smith in Arizona. LET IT GO CHEESEHEADS! These feelings of betrayal will pass. Unless the Purple win the whole damn thing. Then we're never letting you hear the end of it!
BONEHEAD HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAY
You'd think the coach would have told this kid to just let the ball hit the ground. He doesn't, throws it on the ground and then loses the game. If the game heroes get all the tail, I wonder if the goats get negative sex.
CUTE LIONS FAN ARRESTED AT VIKINGS GAME
This hot little number got a little lit up at the Vikings/Lions game last week and got cuffed and stuffed...I'd like to cuff and stuff her too.
PANTSLESS LIONS FAN
This HAS to be the result of some horrible bet. My only question is what is the OTHER guys doing!?
TIED TO A POLE
A few weeks ago, a 21-year-old was denied entrance to the local VFW. The man responded by pulling down the American flag and burning it. Some local vets decided to give him a choice. Get turned into the police, getting the crap beaten out of him, or be tied to the flagpole with a sign saying what he did. He chose option three.
AWESOME CAR DEAL!
Wow! What a deal! Only 32,000 miles! Ohhhhhh...but I'll have to put $10,000 into sanitizing it. May need some light cleaning my ass...
SERENA FOR TAMPAX
No, this is not a joke. But I swear to God, I will shove this tampon down your effing throat!! I could KILL you right now!
CONAN CRACKS HIS HEAD
The Tonight Show was cancelled Friday after a bit with the sexy Teri Hatcher. He was a little messed up as you can see from his slurred speech. Andy also said that Conan, when being asked questions, was excited to suddenly realize it was 2009. He also understood the plot of "Lost" for exactly 4 minutes.
TUESDAY TOP TEN
THINGS THAT SUCK ABOUT MEN
Well, last week we knocked on the ladies, this week it is the guys turn. As half of one and half of the other, I have alot to say about both. Why can guys suck? Let me count the ways...all ten of them. Leave your own in the comments.
TRIPPING ICARUS
The radio debut of Trippng Icarus was this morning, and if you want to hear more, check out their Myspace.
19 POUND BABY
A woman in Indonesia had this small mound of round last week. I was 10lbs 14oz...this lil kid out weighed me by almost double...19.2lbs. Ouch.
30 NEWS SLIP UPS
Every major city has around 5 news stations, and they do about 5 news programs a day. I'm no math whiz, but that is around 6210 news shows every day. There have GOT to be some awesome screw-ups. Here are 30 of the best ever caught on tape.
DUCT TAPED KITTY
This poor little feline was found dumped in a front yard in Philadelphia with duct tape wrapped around its whole body. There is a $1000 reward for anyone who knows who did it. I know one of you does! I'll split the money with ya!
WORLDS LONGEST MOTORBIKE
Normally I would not have called it a motorbike, but this is definitely NOT a motorcycle, its a scooter. Englishman Colin Furze, who is a plumber used his skills to make one 46 feet long. I'd hate to ride bitch on that thing.
SNAKE WITH A FOOT
Duan Qiongxiu said she discovered the reptile clinging to the wall of her bedroom with its talons in the middle of the night. She said she was so scared she grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death before preserving its body in a bottle of alcohol. One thing, it's not a lizard, it's a snake...with a leg. Figure that one out.
SEXUAL CONNECTION CALCULATOR
You know how if you had sex with one person, you have had sex with every person they have had sex with? And you know if you tell one person something, then they tell two friends....and they tell two friends...and so on, and so on, and so on... Well sex is like that too. Except its like thousands of people have done YOU. This sex calculator figures out how many indirect partners you have had. I feel dirty, since my 5 turned into a little over 300,000.
WORST TATTOOS EVER
Everyone makes bad decisions in their life, just not every one of them lasts forever. Two do...marriage and tattoos. here are 120 of the worst of the worst...tattoos not marriages.
TUESDAY TOP TEN
THINGS THAT SUCK ABOUT WOMEN
We all know them, and despite what's between your legs, you hate at least one, but most likely many. Some girls are awesome, but a lot of them just aren't. Here are the top ten reasons that chicks just suck. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
KNIFE IN THE BUTT
Four months after she was mugged Ying Shi finally got around to checking out the throbbing pain in her backside. Doctors found this...that explains a lot.
WII DRUG BUST
When these central Florida cops heard that this drug dealer was selling weed, they must have hear Wii. In the middle of their bust they stop to do some Wii bowling. Too bad they didn't know cameras were set up in the house before the raid. Now they'll have plenty of time to play Wii...sitting on their couch at home, while on suspension.
OCHO CINCO LAMBEAU LEAPS
Chad Ochocinco promised last week that if he scored a TD in the Bengals game in Green Bay this weekend, he would do a Lambeau Leap. Well he did, and he did. He did the smart thing, and looked for Bengals fans, but it didn't stop the Packer fans from telling Ocho that he was "number one."
DIRTY KETCHUP AD
This may be the dirtiest hot dog related text photo Josh has ever received, but it's actually a Spanish ad for ketchup. It's only as dirty as you want it to be.
WORLD'S COOLEST BUS STOPS
It's FINALLY can look cool to be poor! Of course, that's because the local economy is so low since they spent so much on making cool bus stops.
WORLD'S WORST TORTURE DEVICES
Throughout history, these are the things that inflicted the most pain on an individual person...wait there's something missing...The 93X Half-Assed Morning Show. I just guess even the midlevel Europeans had their threshold for inflicting pain.
WORLD RECORD DRUNKS
Canton Ohio has the Pro Football Hall of Fame...Cooperstown has the Baseball Hall of Fame. Here is the UN-official Drunks Hall of Fame.
TREE THROUGH THE NECK
Two weeks ago, 20-year-old Michelle Childers and her husband were driving their pick-up, when a tree branch came through the front window and impaled her neck. YUCK...(GROSS)
KIDNAPPED FOR LOVE
This guy had a BRILLIANT plan. In order to win her heart, he asked his roommate to kidnap her so he could save her and be there for her. And that's interesting. I would have never thought this guy would need help getting a girl.
FUNNY FACE KNOCK-OUT
DERRRRRRRRRR!!!!! See what I did there? That's like the sound you would think this guy made after being punched and kicked right in the yap. At least he WOULD have made that noise if his esophagus wouldn't have been crushed.
THANK YOU LITTLE EFFER
This family got a little extra something on their reciept after they complained about thier slow service...look at the last entry on the receipt.
WOMAN FINDS SON, HAS SEX WITH HIM
This crazy lady is charged with searching out her son, who she gave up for adoption 10 years ago, in order to have sex with him. Creepy.
GOOD TIMES IN CLEVELAND FOR REAL
93X listener Michael Nellessen was in Cleveland for the Twins series there last week and reenacted some of our favorite Cleveland song moments.
AUDRINA PATRIDGE HOTNESS
This star of "The Hills" has been a bad, bad, girl...and she needs to be punished.
MONKEY MASKED SPEEDER
Phoenix resident Dave Vontesmar is obviously trying to make a point. He wears a monkey mask whenever he drives so when he gets caught speeding by their camera system, he can say it wasn't him.
MALE STIPPER PROPOSITIONS GEORGE CLOONEY
Clooney was promoting his new movie at the Venice Film Festival when either a prankster, or a VERY effeminate fan propositioned him, screaming "Take me. Choose me George!"
EVERY DEATH OF KENNY FROM SOUTH PARK
Back when South Park started, and had no purpose other than to provide Trey Parker and Matt Stone with beer and hooker money, they thought it would be a funny bit to Kill Kenny every week. We are using this as a template for our show too...
Oh my God! They killed Weasel! You Bastards!
TUESDAY'S TOP TEN
BACK TO SCHOOL TIPS
Ahhhh...the day after Labor Day. The return to the long start of winter, and for thousands of kids across the state, and Weasel, a return to the classrooms of Minnesota. But how can you make this school year a little easier? We share our top ten tips. Feel free to share your own in the comments.
SECOND STORY CAR CRASH
This drunk driver in NYC had an...'eventful' weekend. He lost control of his SUV...ran a stop sign, hit a mound of dirt, and LAUNCHED his car into the second story of a house.
INJURED TURTLE W/ COASTER LEGS
This little guy had his front two legs amputated and was outfitted with two easy-side furnature coasters as replacements.
FUNNY FOOTBALL MOMENTS
The first week of the NFL Season is upon us, and so it's time to look back on some of the greatest...and by that I mean funniest moments of seasons of the past.
GIANT FUZZY MICROBES
You ever wanted to snuggle close to Swine Flu? How about Mad Cow Disease? Bed Bugs? E.Coli? Well if you, your child, or your girlfriend would like one, stop by GiantMicrobes.com
MIKE REDMOND HITS A TRIPLE!!!
WARNING! THIS VIDEO IS NOT IN SLOW MOTION! I was more excited for this play than for the Twins win. Red hit his 3rd CAREER triple last week against Texas.
CLEVELAND SONGS
GOOD TIMES IN CLEVELAND!!! RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE TO DESKTOP
GOOD TIMES IN CLEVELAND AGIAN!!! RIGHT CLICK AND SAVE TO DESKTOP
10 SECRET FAST FOOD MENU ITEMS
Tired of the same old, same old at your usualy afternoon pitstop? Take a new twist with one of these unknown menu options. I just gor about 6 new options at Chipotle.
25 FUNNIEST VANITY PLATES
You got to hand it to people for their creativity. Once I saw a plate that said INAHURY and I thought that was funny. These other plates make that look about as funny as Schindler's List.
BOY CRIES BLOOD TEARS
Calvino Inman has a very rare disorder. When he cries it comes out red...and iron rich. REAL blood comes from his tear ducts when he cries. It does have its benefits though. You can TOTALLY trick a girl into never leaving you. "DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU DO TO ME!!"
CHUPACABRA FOUND IN TEXAS?
Two men in Texas believe they may have discovered the body of a Chupacabra – a mythical beast rumored to suck all the blood out of its prey. It me think of my favorite episode of Red Vs Blue. Here's a little inside joke. "Chupathingy." If you don't get it, you're not cool. Check out the full story HERE.
HITLER UPSET ABOUT FAVRE SIGNING
Hitler was an evil man, he tried to take over the world, killed millions of Jews, and now, we learn he is a fan of Tarvaris Jackson.
This is a clip of a movie called "Downfall" and has become a hit with tons of versions. My favorites? This one, the one where he learns of Michael Jackson's Death, and when he learns the truth about Santa.
K-FED GOT K-FAT
Looks like more than just Britney's musical 'talent' rubbed off on K-Fed. So did her eating habits.
BEER SMUGGLING
This lady tried to jack some suds between her legs...but not the way that would make more sense than this. First, it's a 12-pack, second, it looks like Natty Ice?!
TEACHER SUSPENDED FOR CALLING STUDENT GAY
Walter Filson was put on leave along with another teacher for making fun of a student for being gay...when he wasn't. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
